


Cold Light of Day

by de_Duchess



Series: Watch me Set the Sky on Fire [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Male-Female Friendship, Sam Wilson being a therapist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-20
Updated: 2014-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-21 23:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2485970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/de_Duchess/pseuds/de_Duchess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria snorted and turned to face him. “So, Steve sent you?” she said without preamble.<br/>Sam grimaced. “No, Steve did not send me. Steve told me very emphatically to stay out of it." </p><p>Now that Maria and Steve have broken up, Sam has the unenviable task of trying to cheer Steve up. It's not going well. So he decides to get some background information directly from the source.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Light of Day

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Part two! Takes place a week after 'In the Night', but you don't need to have read that story to understand this one. This takes place after Avengers 2, so blink and you'll miss it spoiler for that.  
> No copyright infringement intended. I'm just borrowing the characters and putting them through emotional hell.

**Cold light of day**

 

Sam squared his shoulders as the elevator came to a stop and the doors slid open. He could do this. He had done his research, gathered intel and made the necessary preparations. He could do this. With a fortifying breath he stepped out of the elevator and made his way down the hallway towards Maria’s office. Outside her door her assistant sat at his desk, a sentinel keeping watch. Weiss was former S.H.I.E.L.D. and as capable with a Glock as he was with spreadsheets. He was also fiercely loyal to Maria and not above putting people in a headlock if he deemed it necessary. Which is why Sam came prepared.

“Good morning Weiss.” He said cheerfully, as he set the coffee cup down on the man’s desk with a flourish. “That is for you.”

Weiss didn’t even look away from his computer. “She’s busy.” He said.

Sam held up his secret weapon. “I brought cookies.” He said.

Weiss looked up and eyed the container in Sam’s hands. “No Avengers.” He said.

Sam shook his head. “I’m not an avenger.” He said quickly.

Weiss merely raised an eyebrow as he reached for the cup Sam had set down.

“I’m not.” Sam insisted as Weiss calmly leaned back in his chair and took a sip. “Not really.” He amended. “More like a reserve member.” He considered Weiss. “Did she say no reserve members allowed? If Colonel Rhodes shows up, is he not allowed in either?”

Weiss’ eyes flickered briefly downwards and Sam cheered internally. “You should probably check just in case.” He pressed seriously. “She tends to be specific. If she only said Avengers, I’m probably okay.”

Weiss glared at him for a moment, but then he reached up to activate the Bluetooth in his ear. “Ma’am? I have Wilson here for you.” He listened for a moment. “Yes ma’am.” He said as he eyed Sam, who tried to look as non-threatening as possible. “Yes ma’am.” He said again and thumbed the device off.

“You have fifteen minutes.” He told Sam.

Sam resisted the urge to fist pump. “Good man!” he said as he pried the lid off the container and offered it to Weiss. “Have a cookie! Made them myself.” Weiss merely glared at him and Sam gave the container a little shake. “My nana’s recipe, God rest her soul.” Sam hedged. He held the container a little closer when Weiss didn’t move. “Cookies. Home made.” He said seriously.

Weiss’ glare didn’t abate but he reached in and took a cookie. “Fourteen minutes.” He told Sam.

Sam nodded hastily. “I’m going!”

He rounded the desk and quickly entered Maria’s office. He expected to find her working at her desk, but she was standing in the corner at the lit up holo-table. There was also a projection on the wall, highlighted with blinking dots and she was flicking through something on her tablet.

“I’m busy, Sam.” She said without looking up.

“Sorry.” Sam said. “But I come bearing gifts.”

Maria snorted and turned to face him. “So, Steve sent you?” she said without preamble.

Sam grimaced. “No, Steve did not send me. Steve told me very emphatically to stay out of it. But he also broke Stark.”

Maria frowned as she returned to her desk. “What?”

“Steve made Tony cry, Maria.” Sam said seriously as he sat down in the chair opposite her desk. “The training course Tony’s been working on? He demolished it. And then he drop kicked one of the robots. Like right in the chest plate.” Sam winced at the memory. “The thing went down in a dozen pieces. I think Tony may have actually whimpered.” Sam shuddered. “He was just sitting there cradling the thing. I called Bruce. And then Pepper.”

Maria’s frown deepened. “Wait, was this yesterday afternoon?”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded.

“Huh. I wondered why Pepper walked out on our meeting.” Maria mused.

“Probably because Tony was having a Steve Rogers induced meltdown.” Sam exclaimed. “I have seen a grown man cry!”

Maria’s lips twitched and Sam tried to hold onto his indignation. “It wasn’t funny.” He said. “Not really. This whole thing, Steve is…” he hesitated, “taking it badly.”

Maria nodded, her face going blank. “So you’re here to ask me why I ended things with Steve.”

Sam nodded guiltily. “I asked him first. But he mumbled something about needing to be dating someone, or being in relationship or actually acknowledging each other for two people to be able to break up. And then he broke his tea mug. Also he wasn’t so much mumbling as ranting. Loudly.”

“You realize this is none of your business.” Maria said.

“I know! I don’t want it to be my business!” Sam said. “But Steve won’t talk to me and I can’t help if I don’t know what happened.” He pointed at her. “And you called me, remember! You told me I needed to get my butt to New York and I came, no questions asked.”

Maria winced. “And I appreciate that.” She told him.

“Well now I’m asking questions.” Sam informed her. “Cause for the past five days I’ve been dealing with a moody super soldier and I need help. Help me understand what happened, because he sure as hell doesn’t know.”

Maria swallowed hard and looked away. It was only a moment but Sam caught the brief flash of raw emotion before she got herself under control. The silence was heavy and Sam shifted uncomfortably. Somehow it hadn’t really dawned on him until now that both of them were hurting.

Sam sighed and held up the container as a peace offering. “I made cookies.” He said. “I would’ve been here earlier but Barton ate like half of the first batch. And then Pepper came by and asked if she could take some for Tony, and I felt bad you know.” He shrugged. “So I had to make a new batch. Or I would’ve been here like an hour ago.” He reached over the desk to hand her the container and Maria accepted it with a murmured ‘thanks’.

“How’s Steve doing now?” She asked quietly, after finishing off a cookie.

“I left him with Bruce in the lab.” Sam admitted.

Maria’s eyebrows rose. “Was that wise?” she asked.

Sam chuckled. “Bruce’s highly reinforced lab.” He reminded her. “It’s the least likely place for him to break something.”

“It’s also a lab. With expensive equipment and chemicals and highly volatile elements.” Maria said skeptically.

Sam reached over and snagged a cookie. “Bruce can handle it.” He said. “If anyone knows anything about anger issues it’s him, right.”

Maria shook her head at him and Sam popped the cookie into his mouth. “So,” he said, “You, Steve. What happened.”

Maria sighed. “He was getting attached.” She said. “What he and I had could never go anywhere and there are bigger things at stake, so I ended it.”

Sam stared at her. “Okay.” He said flatly. “I don’t even know where to start with that.”

Maria scowled. “Sam do you know what the Avenger’s current approval rating is?” she asked.

Sam blinked at the abrupt change. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Everything.” Maria bit out. “Sam, the Avengers currently operate by the grace of the public. They’re not associated with the U.N. or the World Security Counsel, hell not even NATO. Without S.H.I.E.L.D. they could just as easily be classified as a group of rogue agents acting without oversight.”

Sam held up his hands. “What does that have to do with you and Steve?”

Maria glared at him. “Sam, the Avengers currently have a 27% approval rating.” She told him. “That’s just barely one in four. That is _terrible_. Without the backing of the public; Congress, the military, anyone who wants a piece out of them can go after them.”

“Okay, but you and Steve,-” Sam tried.

“Wilson,” Maria snapped, “keep up!” She took a breath. “People are wary of the Avengers. As a unit, their approval rating is crap. Individually none of them get above 40%. Except for Steve.” Her eyes held his. “Steve’s approval rating is currently 61%. He’s the only one that’s got the public on his side and even that is barely by half.”

Sam frowned. “So you’re saying Steve’s image is keeping the Avengers afloat?”

“Yes.” Maria told him, “That is exactly what I’m saying. After the battle of New York, the approval rating for the team was 93%. But after Thor’s inter-dimensional battle took out half of London and SHIELD’s fall exposed Natasha and Clint, they took a hit. Banner’s rating was never all that good to begin with, and then Stark’s AI fiasco cost him big.”

Maria sighed. “At its height Steve’s rating was 91%. But it’s been dropping. As has the approval of the Avengers as a collective. Depending on the configuration it can get as high as 38% but that’s still a far cry from where it was.”

Sam rubbed at his forehead. “Okay.” He said. “I get that the situation is serious. But what, _exactly,_ does this have to do with you and Steve.”

Maria groaned. “Sam, do you know what my approval rating is?” she asked. “I’ll give you a hint. It’s not even double digits.” She chuckled derisively. “The Avengers are just barely surviving and that’s only thanks to Steve. And I’m toxic. If anyone associates us together, if it ever got out that he and I were together he’s done.” Maria said. “I ended it because I had to. Because otherwise this house of cards that we’re all pretending is a brick mansion, comes tumbling down.”

Sam sat back. “You put the Avengers above Steve?” he asked.

“Yes.” Maria said. “Because he wouldn’t.”

“That is not fair.” Sam said angrily. “He’s a smart guy. If things are this bad you didn’t have to yank the plug without talking to him about it. You should have respected him enough to have the discussion.”

“We’ve had it.” Maria snapped. “Repeatedly. And he refuses to see reason.”

Sam scowled. “So you decided to break both your hearts for the sake of the team.” He said. “Because let me tell you, I think the team might have something to say about that.”

Maria crossed her arms. “The team needs to survive. There are things coming Sam and we are not equipped to handle it. They are. I will not be the reason that Earth has no defense.”

“Have you met the team?” Sam demanded. “They’re a bunch of stubborn assholes, who don’t give a damn what Congress or the military or anyone else thinks. They’re going to protect Earth whether the public approves or not. You didn’t have to do this.” His eyes narrowed as he stared at her. “And frankly, I didn’t think you gave a damn about what anyone thought about you either.”

Maria’s smile was bitter. “I don’t. I care about what they think of Steve.”

“Steve’s a big boy. And not nearly the boy scout the public thinks he is. He can handle some people not liking him.” Sam said, as he considered her. “Maria, please tell me you didn’t end things with Steve because you didn’t think you were good enough for him.”

Maria rolled her eyes. “Don’t be ridiculous Sam.”

“ _I’m_ not being ridiculous.” Sam said. “Steve knows who you are, he knows exactly what it means to be with you and chose to try despite the consequences.”

“His exact words were ‘damn the consequences’.” Maria corrected. “There’s a difference. He can’t put me above the team, Sam. He has a duty. And so do I.”

“Yeah, well he seems to think you’re worth it.” Sam argued. “And don’t you owe it to yourself and to him to at least try? We both know that he’s right, you’re probably the only other person worthy of-,”

“Sam!” Maria snapped hastily and his mouth fell shut. She shook her head as her eyes flicked to the ceiling. “Not here.”

Sam sighed. “That’s another thing you should’ve told him.” He mumbled. “Maybe instead of worrying about his image, you should be trying to improve yours.”

Maria shook her head. “Not by using that.” She said pointedly. “And my image can’t be salvaged and that’s fine. But he’s Captain America. We need him Sam. What I want doesn’t matter.”

“I get serving your country Maria, but it doesn’t have to be at the expense of everything else.” Sam said seriously. “Especially not at the expense of your happiness.”

Maria offered him a sad smile. “We keep Earth safe or I get to be happy. Show me a way that gives me both, Sam and I’ll gladly take it. Until then, I will be the bad guy if it means Steve remains free to do what he needs to.”

Sam sighed. “Well this sucks all around.” He said and Maria chuckled bitterly in agreement. Sam slumped in his chair. “You know Steve isn’t going to just accept this.” He said.

Maria nodded. “I know.” She said quietly. “But this is the price we pay. It’s too close right now. Too many people want to take the team down and are just looking for a reason. It can’t be me.” She shook her head angrily. “I never should’ve gotten involved with him in the first place.” She said.

Sam hesitated. “For what it’s worth,” he said, “he was happy.”

Maria regarded him sadly. “Me too.” She said quietly. “Can you please take care of him?”

Sam nodded. “You’re not an easy woman to get over, Maria.” He said with a soft smile.

Maria snorted. “There are plenty of women out there.”

“Yeah, but how many see Steve and not just Captain America?” Sam asked. “How many can acknowledge what he’s gone through without either pitying him or making him a hero?” Sam sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. “Let’s face it, he’s gonna be breaking a lot more things before he’s over this.”

Maria winced. “He’ll mend. And when he regains perspective he’ll understand why we couldn’t work. I can live without him. The world might not.”

“This is a hell of a lot you’re giving up.” Sam said.

Maria shrugged. “What else is new.” She said sardonically.

Sam frowned at her. “Are you still being threatened?” he asked.

Maria gave him a fond look. “No.” She assured him. “No more than usual.”

Sam narrowed his eyes. “Would you tell me if you were?”

“No.” Maria said honestly. She waved a hand at the ceiling. “But Jarvis would.”

Sam nodded. “I get why you’re doing this. I know you’re keeping an eye on the big picture and this looks like the right move.” He straightened and focused his gaze on her. “But people need something to fight for. They need tethers to real life and the knowledge that there’s something waiting for them at home.” His eyes were hard. “Don’t make the mistake of only seeing him as Captain America. He’s more than just the soldier.”

Maria swallowed. “I do have the watch the big picture.” She said. She waved a hand towards the projection on the wall. “I have to keep track of all of this and I have to make the tough decisions. The ugly ones, so he doesn’t have to. So _Steve_ doesn’t have to.”

Sam shook his head. “He wouldn’t care.”

“He should.” Maria said. “It’s Steve. He should care, that’s the point. If people don’t believe that, the Avengers fall. ”

“What happens when this is all over?” Sam asked. “What happens when the battle is over.”

Maria eyed the dots littering the wall. “I’m not sure it will ever be over Sam.”

“I mean for you and him.” Sam said. “How many bad guys do we have to stop for you to reconsider?”

Maria’s hand clenched around the tablet. “Sam, I’m not the happy ending to his story.” She finally said.

Sam tilted his head. “How do you know?” he said quietly. “There’s always going to be some greater good, Maria. At some point you need to pick yourself.”

Maria pushed away from her desk and got to her feet. “But not today.” She said. “And I can’t expect him to wait.”

Sam rose as well, recognizing the dismissal for what it was. “I know you believe that.” Sam said. “But this is the guy you’re banking on to stare down Congress and to take on extraterrestrial armies and to single handedly keep the Avengers from imploding.” He smiled. “Until the day you tell him that you don’t feel the same way he does, he’s not going to just accept this.”

Sam made his way to the door and paused with his hand on the handle. “And Maria?” he glanced over his shoulder at her. “You’re not that good of a liar.” He ducked out of her office before she had a chance to reply.

Maria stared at the door for a long moment. “Crap.” She muttered.

 

**[The End]**

**Author's Note:**

> Well, this one wasn't so bad! There was a scene that didn't make this part; I couldn't make a flashback fit. It'll either be included in part three or be posted separately as an interlude.  
> Also, this is un-beta'd. Any mistakes are mine.


End file.
